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Wow, is all I can say school is almost over and summer will be here before we know it. So this year Chyanne will be going on two vacations first one to New York City with me for her cousins wedding and then before school starts back up we will be going to Disney World for the week and spending time with her cousins and the rest of her family that lives near there.Friday is the last day of school for spring break for 10 days and then we are off to see her great grandmother and great grandfather along with other family and friends. Oh and she has started playing sports on Monday nights and love it so I have signed her up for the summer camp liked she asked. So this Spring and Summer we are booked and filled with lots of fun.

Now I would like to clear a few things up that was posted on this blog after Christmas that some people do not know. I was NEVER charged with any kind of child abuse or child neglect I do have the paper showing that from the State of Maryland and from the County that this hearing was held...

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Posted at: 03:49 AM | Permalink

I know it has been some time since I last posted something here, but things have been busy. This Christmas things are differant and I'm loving it! This will be my first Christmas with Chyanne since she was 2 years old! It was so cute when the Christmas Tree was going up and everything was being put out Chyanne was running around the house and think go I have a big house for her to do that in, because I think if she could jump from one couch to the other. Chyanne love putting the stockings on top of the fireplace and putting the big old Harley bear out and wanted it to stay in her chair so she could lay with it whenever she wanted. This year like I said are differant and the one thing is that she went with my soon to be husband and picked my ring out! Chyanne was so happy that she couldn't stand still and she kept jummping up and down. Bless her little heart is all I can say. So, now little Miss Chyanne has the Christmas Tree filled with her gifts and they are all not wrap! My baby girl is...

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Posted at: 01:20 PM | Permalink

Hello Everyone,

I have notice that there has not been a blog since before Chyanne's Welcome Home Party. Chyanne was a little angel that day like everyday that she is but that day in the morning she called and talked to her great grandmother and father to tell them she was having a party (since they live 3 hours from us and are in their 80's) and she told them all on her own that the reason we are having this party is because everyone missed and love her very much and they are happy she is home with Mommy! As she was telling them this I started to cry because this was the first time she had said anything that was in the effect of not being with me for the pass two years. Over the past month she has went from seeing me every other weekend to being home with me 24/7 to going to her dad's every other weekend. Also, she has started Pre-K and is riding the bus to and from school and she is so cute everyday when it is almost time for the bus to come. Chyanne will say mommy let's go outside and...

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Posted at: 12:15 PM | Permalink

I have notice that it has been almost two months since I have last posted something here. Life has been busy and alot has happen since my last post. I now have joint legal custody of my daughter and physical custody of my daughter. On Feb.15th of 2010 my daughter's father came me physical custody of my daughter and my order was appove my the judge and the court of Anne Arundel County. The courts have even said that it was nice that two people who could not be in the same room less then a month ago can now talk and are putting the child first, this has been a long time waiting it has taken me almost five years to be able to talk, eat or even be in the same room as my daughter's father. Now on some Sunday's my daughter's father will pick her up at my house and eat dinner with us or he will drop her off and eat dinner with us. It has been a wonderful time with my daughter living with me and she has brought alot of smiles and laughs in this home. IT NOW FEELS LIKE HOME! On March 13...

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Posted at: 05:25 PM | Permalink

I hope that everyone that is reading this had a wonderful Hoilday Season. This past Thursday January 7,2010 I saw my little girl with the court order doctor, this visit went very well and Chyanne this time sat on my lap to take pictues with me. Also, Chyanne said that she likes it when I play with her hair because it feels good. Also, this visit made me cry then and I cried as soon as I got in the car to go home. Almost two years to the day that I last saw my baby girl when she hugged me and kissed me for the last time two years ago I got my first hug and kiss from Chyanne at this visit with that sad face that looked like she was going to cry and I asked what was wrong and she said she did not want to leave. Also, that night something happen that I thought my boyfriend was joking with me but he wasn't. Chyanne is taken to her father by the court order doctor so we do not see each other and when Chyanne and her father were out in the parking lot her father pointed...

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Posted at: 10:44 PM | Permalink

Today I sit here and think about my visit this week with my daughter and also to tell her how to use her cell phone so we can talk  every night. It brothers me that my four year old little girl has to have her own cell phone. I get the comfort though to talk to her everyday. My days are long and bad at times but to hear that little voice say Hi Mommy and I did this today and I love you makes my days better. As a mother we make that vow to honor and get our child or children safe from harm. When a mother is not able to do so you wonder what we did wrong in life to not be able to keep our children from harm. Today I sit here and think as that I have one more day to see my little angel and watch her open her christmas gifts to see her face light up like a christmas tree will be my christmas gift and the best one anyone can give me. I sit here and hope that on that visit I will get my first hug and kiss. That would... [More]

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Posted at: 12:38 PM | Permalink

I have noticed it has been a month and half since I last blog and gave everyone a update oh how things where going. I feel the need to blog this morning and say what I need to say.

On November 9,2009 was my second visitwith Chyanne and I was able to get my first picture of her and I that day. Chyanne stilled called me Mommy Heather or Heather I also took some toys and brought her a happy meal whiched she loved. We also sat and looke at some pictures from her life with me and she was able to pick out the pictures of her and I and did not remember anyone else in her family. It hurt to see a child not knowing who her family was but nothing that can not be worked on. November 26,2009 would be my last visit before court and Chyanne and I played that night and she also got another happy meal and we put a form picture together. Chyanne stilled called me Mommy Heather or Heather and that night I kissed her goodbye just like every visit but this kiss was harder for me because I was terrified that...

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Posted at: 07:40 AM | Permalink

On October 26,2009 I saw my little girl for the first time and I saw a child who was four years old and not a toddler. Chyanne was very shy and said very little I'm hoping for the next visit she will talk more and want hugs and kisses. As I sit here and see that I have missed out on alot of things and now I have to make up for lost time with my little girl. I know you could put a picture of my at the age four next to a picture of her and you could not tell us a part. I will be taing pictures at the next visit so everyone could see how bg she is. Remember to hug and kiss you child or children every day and tell them you love them.

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Posted at: 10:33 PM | Permalink

I have learn today that last nights visit with the court order doctor that Chyanne can not wait to see me! It has made my feeling go crazy it is like when you are almost ready to give birth and you change everything in the house and you want to spring clean and throw things out!!!!!As I sit here and try to do my homework I can't because I'm thinking about how I feel or what will I do when I do see her. LIke I said before it is like having a baby again but she is only 4! Should I allow her Godmother or anyone else throw like a baby shower for her. We all know I need to start buying things for her room and clothes like that but I also need a carseat for her too. You can leave a message here or email me what you think!

Remember, always love your children or the one you love because you never know what could happen the next day!

Till next time

Heather

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Posted at: 01:19 AM | Permalink

On September 30,2009 I heard from the court order doctor to tell me how Chyanne did in her visit and how she was asking for me. Chyanne calls me Mommy Heather it is hard for me to hear those words but I can not be upset at her for that, that is something that I know that can be worked on. I know Chyanne has a visit with the doctor again on October 13,2009 and then the end of October I will be able to see Chyanne which will be the week of Hollween. Tonight I was in Walmart and there was a lady with her daughter who what handicap and we started talking about life and children. I knew when I see Chyanne for the first time my feelings can not be put in words but  this lady said I know you are happy but think what you will feel it will be like holding your child for the first time all those feelings again my god. She is so right this time my little angel will be 4 years old and this time I cab heard mommy I love you or good bye mommy see you soon.In my...

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Posted at: 11:06 PM | Permalink